More People Who Hate Your Childfreedom

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Because reddit.com is awesome, this post I reposted got a mention. The post included several great additions by redditers and from blog comments which I will list here.

Meet more people who hate your childfree by choice status:

10. The Bitch: She got a divorce when the child was 2 and had been cheating on him already. Now she uses the child as a weapon against the caring father.The child support she rreceives every month gos to support a the original child, the new live in boyfriend and his 2 from previous relationship, and yet another child that was “unplanned”.

11. Dead-Inside Dad: He got married thinking life would be so sweet. But then the wife wanted kids right away, and he shrugged and figured it would make her happy. Three years and two kids later, he’s working two jobs he hates but can’t leave, his wife has cut him off sexually long ago because she is always too tired, his house is a mess of diapers and dirty laundry, and he watches with burning envy as the 25 year-old guys in his office are at bars and ball games every weekend, or having gaming marathons, and he sobs at how his children have destroyed his dreams. He takes his weary carcass home to his loud, messy home, waits for his wife to fall asleep, then goes to the basement and surfs the web for an hour, the only peace he ever gets in his dreary, unhappy life. Every time his beautiful, childfree, 30-something coworker passes by his desk, he wonders where the hell he went wrong. But he knows it’s too late. He is doomed.

I-Want-More-Grandma/Grandpa: At least one of their kids has graced them with grandkids, but they want some from all their kids. They only discuss the current grandkids trying to make those who haven’t produced children yet realize how amazing it is.

13. Fix-My-Marriage-Melissa: She cheated on her husband, or he cheated on her. They fight often. Their love life is more sterile than an operating room. She confides in you that she wants a divorce, but she is afraid of the consequences. He confides in you that he wants to sleep with you. You and your friends put bets on how long the marriage will last. Then, there it is. An ultrasound photo on facebook. They are having a baby! Look at them both smiling at the camera in the OBGYN office!

14. Copy-Cat Caitlyn: All her friends are having kids, and nobody calls her to hang out anymore. She feels left out, and a baby would boost her social life and cure her boredom with her husband and un-fulfilling corporate desk job, which she now has a socially acceptable reason to quit.

15. Must Have the Correct Gender Maude: four boys and one girl, six girls and one boy. She’s succeeded. Eight girls? Oh she meant it that way really and truly. She wasn’t pumping them out continuously to get a boy. oh no.

16. Cloning Claudia: The mother who begins disciplining her children in the womb to be EXACTLY LIKE HER. She explains that her two week old infant LOVES classical music, wants to be a dancer and loves to read historical fiction despite not being able to hold her head up yet. Claudia tells you of the hobbies she will share with her child “Since we both love yoga and hiking I can’t wait til she can sit up so we can do them together”. Takes any suggestion that her child MIGHT be even a little bit different from her as personal attack. Is more than prepared to viciously attack her child for different from her.

17. If only Anna: Endless tells you of what she COULD have done with her life, cured cancer, won an Oscar, brought peace to the middle east if ONLY she hadn’t gotten pregnant. Never stops reminding her children of the great life she COULD have had if only they hadn’t been born. Dismisses any suggestion she pursue the goals she insists have been ripped away from her by these parasites who showed up uninvited into her home. “How am I going to find an hour a week to sketch? My kids won’t leave me alone for a minute!”

18. So Sorry for you Sally: Your novel won a Pulitzer? That’s nice but when are you having a baby? Children are the only thing in life that has true meaning. Spend all your free time training dogs to help wounded soldiers returning from Iraq? You’ll never know joy if you don’t have a baby. I went to high school with went to a Ivy league college, graduate school, got a doctorate, psychology degree, wrote three books, married, open a very successful practice helping at risk youth, got pregnant at age 39. My high school classmates congratulated her for finally “Doing something important with your life”

Do you, dear readers, have anything to add to the list?

Feel free to submit your own childfree story by sending your submission to rayne@insufferableintolerance.com. There are no guidelines for submissions.

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3 Comments

  1. thank you for including my comments! I was inspired to write “Cloning Claudia” after I went to an art fair and a woman had brought her 20 month old daugther because “There is nothing so adores more than art, she would have never forgiven us for not including her” ?????

    Reply
    1
    • The kid is not even 2 years old. It doesn’t know how to control its bowels and bladder yet!

      Good grief.

      Reply
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