Health Quackery

Published on November 16th, 2014 | by Rayne

9

The Miracle Drink hoax that tastes like fail

Some of my readers may have seen this roll around on their Facebook news feeds lately, alongside that bloody Soursop hoax, this “new miracle drink” status has been shitting up my Facebook with its stinky bad tasting bullshit. I’ve replicated the status here for people to read but I’ve tweaked the formatting a bit.

MIRACLE DRINK … KILLS CANCER CELLS TOO…..MUST READ :

This MIRACLE DRINK has been circulating for a long time long ago.It is worth your while to take note. There is a celebrity Mr. Seto who swears by it. He wants to make it public to draw the attention of people who have cancers. This is a drink that can protect bad cells forming in your body or it will restrain its growth! Mr. Seto had lung cancer.

He was recommended to take this drink by a famous Herbalist from China. He has taken this drink diligently for 3 months and now his health is restored,and he is ready to take a pleasure trip. Thanks to this drink! It does not hurt for you to try.

It is like a Miracle Drink! It is simple.

You need one beet root, one carrot and one apple that combine together to make the JUICE! Wash the above, cut with the skin on into pieces and put them into the juicer and immediately you drink the juice.

You can add some lime or lemon for more refreshing taste.

This Miracle Drink will be effective for the following ailments:

1. Prevent cancer cells to develop.It will restrain cancer cells to grow.
2. Prevent liver, kidney,pancreas disease and it can cure ulcer as well.
3. Strengthen the lung, prevent heart attack and high blood pressure.
4. Strengthen the immune system
5. Good for the eyesight, eliminate red and tired eyes or dry eyes
6. Help to eliminate pain from physical training, muscle ache
7. Detoxify, assist bowel movement, eliminate constipation.Therefore it will make skin healthy & LOOK more radiant.It is God sent for acne problem.
8. Improve bad breath due to indigestion, throat infection,
9.pain
10. Assist Hay Fever Sufferer from Hay Fever attack.

There is absolutely no side effect. Highly nutritious and easily absorbed.Very effective if you need to loose weight.You will notice your immune system will be improved after 2 week routine.

Please make sure to drink immediately from the juicer for best effect.

PLEASE SHARE TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

I don’t even know where to begin. I wasn’t originally going to do a blog post on this because it’s so fucking stupid but the more I saw it on my news feed, the more I wanted to tear my hair out. A few readers have said they want a post on it – possibly because they like when I say fuck, most likely to save their hair.

So here it goes.

We’ll start with the first few paragraphs. They’re a great attention grabber, people like magical thinking. People like magical thinking about things that don’t have answers or cures. Why else would we have religion? Magical thinking with higher powers or miracle drinks that illicit a placebo effect are a convenient way to explain away a concept we have little to no knowledge about.

This MIRACLE DRINK has been circulating for a long time long ago.It is worth your while to take note. There is a celebrity Mr. Seto who swears by it. He wants to make it public to draw the attention of people who have cancers. This is a drink that can protect bad cells forming in your body or it will restrain its growth! Mr. Seto had lung cancer.

He was recommended to take this drink by a famous Herbalist from China. He has taken this drink diligently for 3 months and now his health is restored,and he is ready to take a pleasure trip. Thanks to this drink! It does not hurt for you to try.

It is like a Miracle Drink! It is simple.”

This reads like it was written by someone who doesn’t have English as a first language or at least someone who doesn’t live in an English dominant country – that is completely fine. This  serves as a good tactic to seduce people in on the “authenticity” of the drink. “Ancient Medicine” from other cultures is a prominent feature in Alternative Medicine and woo. So are testimonials. Why have peer review double-blind clinical trials when a testimonial is easier and takes 5 minutes to write on a computer? You don’t need to provide supporting evidence of any kind.

“You need one beet root, one carrot and one apple that combine together to make the JUICE! Wash the above, cut with the skin on into pieces and put them into the juicer and immediately you drink the juice.

You can add some lime or lemon for more refreshing taste”

I’m really glad the author added the point about the lemon or lime because that drink tastes nasty. Beetroots, carrots and apples are great separately but not together. That’s an orgy no-one should attend. One thing about the lemon or lime addition – the Facebook status is promoting this nasty arse drink as a cure for 10+ aliments, how do they know adding lemon or lime isn’t going to fuck with the medical properties of the drink? Wouldn’t adding lemon or lime be the equivalent of drinking alcohol while on certain medications? Sometimes alcohol can lessen the effect of medications – how does the author know that lemon or lime isn’t going to fuck up their drink?

At best this drink is nothing more than nasty tasting placebo. I could be incorrect about the nasty tasting bit, my curious readers who want to try the drink to see how it tastes may find it nice. I however don’t like apple juice. The one good thing about the drink is if you are lacking in the vitamins the food provides – it may give you a boost in the vitamin department. Show me the studies people. Show me the supporting evidence for any of the above claims. Show me this is more than the Placebo effect. Show me that it’s more than magical thinking. Give me the mechanism for how it works. As my Math teacher used to say: Show your work.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times – these sorts of Facebook status at first glance, look harmless. Drinking juice is good for you, eating fruits and vegetables is good for you but the danger lies in the unproven claims of killing cancer cells and fixing aliments. The placebo effect may take away pain from a workout, eating healthier will cut the risk of illnesses relating to older age and eating healthier promotes weight loss alongside exercise but killing cancer cells? If I threw a cup of my spit into a petri dish full of cancer cells, they will die. No-one is making a Facebook status about my spit curing cancer.

The Facebook status screams one rather large red flag for quackery, why is this being promoted via a poorly written Facebook status in the first place? If you say “Because doctors don’t want us to know”, I may just implode. To believe that doctors, scientists, nurses and other healthcare professionals are hiding something as simple as this nasty drink as a cure for cancer (by the way it doesn’t mention which type of cancer) is well beyond conspiracy theory territory. Another red flag for quackery is the simple “cure” for a variety things including illnesses that can only be managed not cured or outright scams (such as detoxing). Ever noticed how there isn’t an alternative medicine for an amputated limb? or bringing someone out of a coma?

Use this drink as a placebo. Use it to feel good and become healthier but don’t promote it as the cancer cure it isn’t. Don’t peddle bullshit to vulnerable sick people. That makes you an arsehole.

If you like some of the things I say – feel free to add me to your RSS feed, comment or email me: rayne@insufferableintolerance.com. I now have a facebook page! Feel free to like my page by clicking here!
 

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9 Responses to The Miracle Drink hoax that tastes like fail

  1. Luke says:

    I got my mum onto ABC Drink in January, she just got some test results this week and her tumours have either stabilised or shrunken in that time with no other treatment of any kind since January 2014. They’ll do more tests in 3 more months and I’ll report the results here again

  2. Sheogorath says:

    Luke, Luke, Luke. Didn’t you know your mum’s taking her chemotherapy pills in secret because she doesn’t want to hurt you, but she does want to survive the cancer at least long enough to see her grandchildren grow up?

  3. Luke says:

    Nope, the doctors told her chemo is unsuitable in her situation. I hope if one of your loved ones gets cancer that you look at multiple options. Chemo and radiation can be a cure but very damaging to the body too. I would have been very pessimistic too except the Facebook page I saw the information on had a LOT of people reply with similar positive stories so I though why not give it a go. Check out a doco on youtube called Cancer – The Forbidden Cures. Keep an open mind. 🙂

  4. Nancy says:

    Wow, I’m kinda speechless and don’t know where to begin.
    Why so negative and downright obnoxious over a completely natural and non gimmicky suggestion! What harm can you possibly get from drinking pure fresh juice! Obviously you’re very unaware, bordering complete ignorance, to the benefits of juicing and the pure concentration of nutrients that fresh juices provide.

    Then when you think of the lack of gimmicks, it’s not asking you to buy a special product to cure cancer, and unless you think farmers are in co hoots to sell you vegetables…ummm let’s see they can sell to processed food manufacturers who make canned fruits and vegetables with preservatives and next to no nutritional value or they can sell to like tomatoes to make you canned tomato sauce full of preservatives, when compared to fresh produce, or they can sell fresh produce to grocery stores to keep up with the “possible increase in demand” for fresh fruits and vegetables. My point is, I don’t see the farmers putting this out as a way to increase their revenue.

    As for the comments concerning western medical practices, you seriously can’t be that naive can you??? Have you ever been to a doctors office and seen the pens, sticky notes, calenders and other gimmicky merchandise. That is all given to the doctors office by pharmaceutical sales reps that market the medication to the Dr, where the Dr is then more inclined to prescribe that particular brand, regardless of actual benefit or cost to the patient, over other medications. Do you have any concept of what pharmaceutical companies are and the research they do actually entails or stands for? I’m not going to name a particular company, because this is a blanket statement, these companies and the whole medical field is a business like any other and the profit margin is the bottom line. Yeah Dr’s, nurses etc may enter the field with altruistic stars in their eyes, but come on be real!

    Do you really believe that in this day and age, with how advanced we have become, that a cure for cancer and other managed “incurable” diseases and disorders has not been found and squashed to a pulp by the very pharmaceutical companies that spend billions in research. Let me throw this at you…why is it that diseases that cures were found for in the 1700-1900, like measles, mumps, rubella, polio etc have a once in a life time shot to prevent the illnesses yet herpes or the multitude of diseases, infections and ailments in the modern era don’t have a one time solution. Do ya think it could have anything to do with basic business sense that kicked in an emerging market and it became a simple consensus of why cure it when it can be treated.

    Dude, seriously you are hating on a completely natural, nutritious concept that has zero complications and if anything can only improve ones health in some shape or manner. And the whole adding a lime can affect the tonics properties like alcohol with certain medications is laughably ridiculous. Too bad you’re so engrossed in one mentality to appreciate incorporating a more holistic approach to your life and well being; what bothers me is your blatant glory of your ill informed and largely ignorant point of view.

    Oh and before you go around making fun of other people’s mastery of the English language you may want to assess your own proficiency in that mess of a statement/blog of yours up there. You misused to/too or of/off, I can’t remember now and I don’t want to read that abomination again. Do yourself a favor and go look up the health properties of different individual FRESH fruits and vegetables and their benefits for different body organs and processes, including fighting cancer.

    PEACE

  5. Luke says:

    In follow up to my post 10 months ago, my mum got more tests done and results in today , tumours have shrunken more (she also introduced selenium into her schedule). Great news.

    • Angela says:

      Thanks for the follow up, after losing a father and a niece to cancer after rounds of chemo. I think a natural remedy would be worth a try.

  6. Samuel Soshie says:

    Nancy, your words are full of wisdom. That idiot thinks medicine was made from sea water. Medicines are made from natural things. Am sure he is doing the bidding of pharmaceutical companies. Just to condemn this so no one van have trust in them.

    You just made a fool out of him.

  7. Angela says:

    And also after witnessing people shrink and heal fibroids with almost the same drink, just that they add turmeric, ginger, lemon and leafy green vegetables. It’s worth a try

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